How to Not Care What Others Think of You

How to Not Care What Others Think of You: Why it is PARAMOUNT to Be Who You Are

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Today I want to discuss a huge topic that has a lot to do with the 2-3 last posts I have made: How to Trust the Process and I Feel So Lost in Life. This is something that I battle with day in and day out and when I don’t get others’ approval, I sometimes wither away and begin second guessing myself.

It’s all bullshit and it’s a lie. YOU are important. YOU are worthy. YOU are amazing, beautiful, intelligent, smart, successful – you just have to find these qualities within yourself.

Today I want to talk to about how to ignore everyone and begin disregarding what they think of you, your actions and your goals and objectives. They are yours, and you should be doing whatever it is that you want to be doing – regardless of what anyone says.

Firstly, I CARE About What Others Think – And It’s Destroying my Self-Esteem


I care. I care what you think of this article. I care about what my mom thinks about my blog. I care about what my boss thinks of my work performance. I care about what my friends think of my silly behaviour, what my doctor thinks about my health choices, what my dad thinks about my finances, what my teachers think about my success – I care!

And it’s slowly killing me on the inside, because the person who’s opinion I care least about is my own.

Isn’t that a huge slap in the face.

Yup, it sure is for me.

I can’t tell you the amount of times that I have chosen to behave in a certain way, make certain choices and perform in a certain way that placed somebody else’s judgement of me one rung higher on the priority chain than the decisions that would have been aligned with my own values.

And I still do it. What others think of me is driving my decisions on a daily basis, and I am quite sick and tired of not being in control of my own life, my own happiness and not taking orders from others and pursuing that which will make “them” happy at my own personal expense.

It’s as if I am hiding behind a mask. A mask that is made up of all the things that I “must do” to fit into society and keep the cogwheel turning so to speak – and I am guilty of this pretty much on a daily basis. I am literally “masking” the person that truly wants to shine in favour of pleasing the masses.

But today’s anecdote isn’t about how terrible I am at being myself, it’s not about having a pity-party for poor old Mike or asking for sympathy – today’s post is about how and why it’s so paramount to ditch any opinions others have over you.

I Don’t Care What Others Think of Me – And Neither Should You


You remember when we were kids? We were born into a society that taught us from an early age to buy into all the hype surrounding “pleasing others” and doing things to be a good person, a good kid, fitting in etc. I call bullcrap on all fronts.

Now, there are a few fundamental values by which I believe all humans should live by – courtesy, honesty, integrity, helpfulness etc. but none of these have anything to do with buying into the social conditioned norm that is prevalent today.

Do you also remember how, just above this section, I admitted to caring about what others think of me? Well it’s true. We all do. It’s in our innate nature to behave in this manner, and there isn’t really much of anything any of us can do to halt this natural instinct.

We all care about what the next guy/gal thinks of us even if their judgement offers no value to us or lends a helping hand to our self improvement.

In other words, we place great value on other peoples’ judgement of us (sometimes even strangers!) even when there is insurmountable evidence showing that their judgement offers nothing tangible for us to effectively make our lives better.

However, whether or not we allow this judgement to influence us at all is indicative of our own self-esteem, not the perceived validation we receive from others.

Self-esteem is a self-made attribute that anyone’s character can learn how to implement. It comes from within yourself.

Now That We Know That Others Judge Us,
What Can We Do To Not Care?


I strongly urge you to head over to the subreddit No%&#@sGiven. This is a great area to explore the art of not caring.

Please, for God’s sake, I highly recommend NOT becoming an asshole. This website does not advise you to become an asshole. This website does not encourage asshole-ish behaviour nor would I ever condone any type of behaviour in which you are physically, verbally or mentally abusing someone else by being an a**hole to them. Please.

However, with that said, I can not speak enough of the attitude to do things anyway, in spite of the naysayers and those who try to keep you pinned down to your current *shitty* situation. Some people just don’t understand you fully and they’ll never understand why you’re doing what you’re doing.

I would also recommend to head over here to find out more about how finding your passion will help you immensely to filter out the naysayers and get after what it is you truly want out of life anyway.

Alright, Enough of this Airy-Fairy Crap. I Want Some Concrete Examples of What You’re Talking About, Mike.


Think of the most famous people you know who have become famous in the most obscure ways imaginable. I can think of Harley Morenstein from EpicMealTimeCasey Neistat, or PewDiePie off the top of my head. They are each YouTubers who have more than 5 million subscribers – and in the case of PewDiePie, nearly sixty million subscribers!

Harley has a cooking show in which his group of friends cooks the most insane, massive meals you’ll ever see like the Thai-Tanic Springroll.

Casey Neistat is, was, and is a vlogger again. He comes from years of professional videography experience and has brought this twist to the vlogging game.

PewDiePie is a great and funny video gamer and commentary expert who has made his YouTube channel into a thriving full-time career.

Now that is a full-time living if I’ve ever heard of one. 

Could you imagine their parents’ look on their faces if these guys said that they wanted to become YouTubers? Their parents probably didn’t even know what YouTube is! And if they did, they would’ve been reluctant to accept YouTube as a feasible income form.

Now, granted, these guys probably didn’t think they would make it huge, but that still doesn’t take away from the fact that they did. Regardless of what anyone said or did, these guys pulled the trigger and did what they wanted. I remember Harley even saying that he quit is teaching job to run Epic Meal Time full-time. Now that’s impressive.

The whole takeaway here is that they just didn’t care what the naysayers thought and got after it anyway. What’s there to lose? Will your life be dictated by what other people think you are or are not capable of?

F%$& that nonsense! F##$ the haters, critics and naysayers – they can continue to bash your dreams from the comfort of their meatloaf dinner and arm chair movie nights! They have no say in your life, nor where you’re taking it or where you’re heading. You have the say, no one else.

Why It’s Paramount to Not Care What Others Think


Self-confidence is the forerunner of any successful life event. If you want something to happen, only you can make it happen. No one else will give you approval. No one will hold your hand, caress your head and say, “it’s alright, Michael”, and surely as hell no one will provide you with self confidence other than your very own being.

When you have a firm grip on what it is you want, you will take every conceivable step towards realising this potential, and you will make it happen. It’s a mandatory personality trait (especially for entrepreneurs) to go against the grain. Not only is it fundamental to care less of others’ opinions of you, but dealing with the naysayers and down-shooters is going to literally become a part of your daily existence.

If you have any good friends like I do, you’re lucky because the guys I associate with are supportive of my dreams and my own “worthy ideal”. They don’t shoot me down, they lend a helping hand. But realise that this is not the norm.

Honestly, who even gives a rat’s a$$ about what anyone thinks? If you want to do something, just do it! Because it’s either going to be the perceived approval you will get from them in exchange for your happiness, or you’ll get your happiness at the expense of someone disapproving of something I am doing. I would much rather have a huge group of haters than a huge group of lovers whereby I hate myself.

Go against the grain. Try something new, live the life you want in spite of others’ attempts at deceiving you into believing you’re crazy. You’re not. they just can’t understand your thought process. But do you? That’s all that really matters!


What do you guys think? Do you let others get the better of you? Do you let the opinion of others crush your dreams? Are you firmly planted in your beliefs and are they strong enough to withstand the harshest of critics?

Leave a comment below. I’d love to hear about how you have overcome your critics and stopped caring about what others think.


As always,
Yours truly,
Michael

22 comments

  1. Hey Michael great article ! I was like you caring too much about things and people.. in the end you don’t even control your life anymore ! The worst was trying not to care without being an asshole hahaha ! Keep up the good job bro (even if you don’t care) Cheers !

    1. Hey Chris, I do care about what people think, like I mentioned above haha.

      What was the biggest driver of you caring less about all the negativity and about what people thought of you?

  2. This is a great article and I really like the support you offer people.
    I have always had that stigma of worrying about what others thought. It really affected me in my twenties, but as I got older, it became a realization of mine that I was missing out on a lot because of my lack of self esteem and also being worried, But once I was able to overcome that, it has gotten a lot better. It still creeps up, but have learned the coping skills and knowing that-I am a good person with a lot to offer so why worried about them?

    1. Hey Brad, exactly. Why worry about something someone else thinks? It’s probably just a projection of their own insecurities. What was the most important factor that led to your ability to care less about what others thought? I’d love to hear from you!

  3. Hi Michael,
    Very interesting read! I have this same problem. I am very sensitive to what others think of me to point it has made me cry. I hate myself for it and have even wished I didn’t care but I do! But you are right, they have no say in MY life. I have a question though is not caring what others think the same as being inconsiderate? I am worried that too many people don’t care and it causes them to be inconsiderate of other people. At least that is what happens to me. Great article, you have a great way with words!

    1. Hey Melissa, I am so happy you stopped by. I wouldn’t say that not caring should make you “inconsiderate” as that would go against my own value system.

      I believe for myself that I always strive to be considerate. I don’t think one should resort to being an asshole or anything like that. I hope you’re on the right track and that your life is going in the direction YOU want it to go!

      That’s all I was referring to – just making sure one lives a life true to themselves 🙂

  4. Man, I always have naysayers around me. It did not change for a very long time and I actually lower my communication with them just because they think that accomplishing something great would be impossible and recently I started creating a business and lowered the communication even more. I actually feel good and I can suggest everyone do the same.

    1. Hey Furkan, thanks so much for stopping in! I totally agree. Sometimes you just have to cut out those who are not helping to advance your life and are holding you down. This is something I am hoping to do too. How did you go about changing your attitude towards the naysayers? I would love to hear your feedback on that!

  5. Up until about 4 years ago, i had a problem of caring what people thought about me. Boy oh boy wad this a hinderence in my life. Not only did i care to much, but i attempted to become someone else in the process, which was a total disaster. Didnt know if i was coming or going.

    With that, i agree. Who gives a rat’s ass. Very informative and uplifting article.

    1. Yes exactly. I think it’s so important to let go of others’ opinions of us as they truly don’t offer any real value unless they are positive opinions. The naysayers do not help. Thanks for sharing your story!

  6. Good article. I’ve about let other peoples opinions about me, destroy me. When I finally realized that God made me, and He doesn’t make juke, that I was ready to accept myself to be who I am.
    And that I’m just as important and as good as any one else. Very good. I enjoyed.

    1. Hey Aquinda, I totally agree. It got to a point in my life where I also nearly let it destroy me. What’s the major thing you’ve done to overcome this and move past it?

  7. The part about when were kids was me. I did use to do things according to how I thought people would think of me. But I learned that if you respect yourself enough and know in your heart that you are doing what God loves in all aspects there is no reason to worry about what the next person thinks. This is when you make the best decisions. Good article. Makes you think.

    1. That’s right – self respect is the most important factor in anything. Others cannot give you the validation you need and even if they do your own validation is far more powerful! What do you think the most important thing was that you did that allowed you to just live your life the way you wanted without letting anyone else have an impact on that?

  8. This is a great article about why we shouldn’t be over sensitive to other people’s opinions.
    We all need to strike the balance between doing everything that we want to do, in the way we want to do it and yet still doing what others need because in life (unfortunately) society works best when we work as a team. Finding this balance has been a life long battle for me (sign!!)
    I am glad that you sound like you have found yourself a group of wonderful friends who support you and encourage you. This is a great thing.
    Your comment on Vbloggers was interesting. My 6 year old son told me recently that he wants to be a “YouTube Gamer” when he grows up so he can play computer games all day and earn lots of money at the same time. Gosh… I only wish being a vBlogger was that easy!!
    Good luck and bye for now.

    1. Hey Bec, I agree. One must find the balance. However, letting others’ opinions of you dictate how one lives their life is something I do not stand for. As for your son, he’s 6 years old and can absolutely become a YouTube gamer! The opportunities these days are much different than they were 10, 20 years ago. As long as he puts in the effort anything can happen!

      What’s the one most important thing you find yourself thinking about when trying to strike that balance? I’d love to hear more from you!

  9. Hi Michael,

    That is a great read! I think it is common for many of us to care too much about what other think about us and how our life should turn out to be if we want to be successful. Heard of this before: We were not afraid to make mistakes when we were young (we made many of them in fact from school to uni) but growing up and becoming an adult, we do not dare to even make any moves. I wish I can be bold again and slowly becoming more confident! Nowadays, I just believe in myself and know that only I can have a say in my life. I hope many will be inspired by your post too.

    Wishing you best of luck! Cheers, Susan

    1. Hey Susan, thanks so much for stopping in! I think it’s never too late to let go of the opinions of others. I have made so many mistakes in my life I am truly amazed that I am still here to tell the stories!

      You can always be bold – it’s those that conform to society’s norms that eventually fall by the wayside and never to anything extraordinary unfortunately 🙁

  10. It is a very relevant article. It’s a problem in our society. As for me, it has always been a struggle of mine. I was (is still sometimes)a people-pleaser. There were days I even look down on myself just because I believe what others have said about me. Crazy right? What I noticed is that most of the time, those who don’t really personally know me, have a lot more to say than those who do. And I take it personally? Pity on me. But gone are the days. I find myself stronger now because of my daughter. I save my energy for her rather than wasting it on doubting myself and letting others’ words get into me. I also realized, other people’s opinion of me won’t pay the bills.
    And like you, I am blessed with good friends, they share the same faith and beliefs as me, always support and uplift my spirit.

    I find it still difficult to not care at all but I’m getting there.

    What’s important is, at the end of day, your intentions are good and your conscience is clear.

    1. Hey Kristel,

      Thank you so much for stopping by! I completely agree with you that taking what people think of you with a grain of salt is so crucial. It’s always those who don’t know you that judge you more. It’s been my experience for sure!

      I am so happy that you have good people that you can surround yourself with. It makes life that much more enjoyable. You’re also getting reciprocation and validation from those that are important to you which I think is important as well.

      What’s been your biggest hurdle in continuing to overcome this? I’d love to hear from you!

  11. I really enjoyed this article because i can totally relate. For THE longest time i cared what others thought about me so much that it restricted me from being myself and doing and saying what i thought was right.

    That’s no way to live.

    But i cared about being accepted by others. I wanted to be appreciated.

    But one day i woke up and took control of my life and decided to say “fuc* it, i’m going to be myself” and sure as hell my life changed for the best.

    The people that were so quick to pass judgement on me i kicked out of my life. I don’t need their crap. I am smart. I am handsome. I am worthwhile. I am kind.

    This article came to me at a very important time in my life because its only be as of recent that i have made this change to not care what people think.

    Your words helped reinforce my new beliefs and i am grateful for it. Thank you

    1. Hey Justin, thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and check out the site/article! I am very excited to present this material to anyone who might need it. It’s so crucial to grow beyond the need for validation. As you mentioned for yourself, for me as well, it consumed me so much. When I didn’t receive approval from others I felt worthless, obliterated mentally and emotionally and saw no way to move forward. But that has all changed for me once I began to realise that my goals and ideals are worthy, and the only one that has to believe in myself is myself.

      What would you say was the biggest hurdle that stood between caring about what others think and moving beyond that? I would love to hear more!

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